NEW DISEASE:
CHRONIC CANOEAPHILIA

CAUSES:
Recently, scientists have discovered a new disease associated with excessively paddling for extended time periods over flatwater in slender boat-like things. A less severe form exists due to prolonged time on land doing repetitive, fatigue-inducing, muscular activity.

SYMPTOMS:

*Note: Symptoms are slightly variant depending on gender. But of course, in such a sport, sometimes it is difficult at times to distinctly differentiate between gender. Hmm.

1) When you trip over stuff the first thing you do is to start moving your arms laterally with an imaginary stick in a bracing action.

2) Upon seeing random tennis, badminton rackets and/or hockey, floorball sticks, you go, "Wow. Nice paddle."

3) You start creating a blog dedicated solely to your activity in the slender boat-like things, and begin filling the blog with rubbish.

4) You begin walking in a distinct fashion in which the shoulders are elevated, and the arms are held straight with tensed biceps for 99% of the time. (To Deborah: if you are reading this, you'll probably know who has this disease too! =p)

5) Going to the pull up bars before flag raising, during free blocks, before lunch, after lunch, and not to mention training.

6) You begin to give inanimate, paddle-like objects (affectionately christened "bracsa") names such as Winnie the Pooh, Everything is Relative and Yellow Ribbon Project.

7) You start acknowledging a certain tall, big, dark, Chinese dude with khaki hat and imba sunglasses as, "Jiao Jiao".

8) You start doing weird paddling motions at home in the comfort of your bathtub.

9) You go crazy and start shouting and surprising people unawares.

10) Finally, muscles and veins start popping out of places you never imagined possible (pertaining to yourself), and you start looking like a walking zombie every tuesday, friday and sunday.

Symptoms of such nature may possibly lead to gradual death by capsizing. (or as Jing Cong would say: "cappingsize")

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