Guide on How to Keep a Girl
Hey canoeing guys, please take note!!!


1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (thiswill impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

4. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for wussies.

5. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

6. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

7. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like canoeing).

8. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

9. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

10. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

11. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

Hope this will be useful!

Labels: chinks again

Updated@7:19 PM